How to Swear Like a Pirate NSFW

54 filthy pieces of 18^th century pirate slang. 

 “Abbess” In real life, the overseer of a nunnery. In thieves’ slang, the woman who oversees a whorehouse.

“Ask my arse” A reply to a stupid question.

“Brasser” A cheap prostitute, who earns only a brass farthing for her work.

“Bunter” A low class, dirty prostitute, as much a beggar as a whore.

“Buss” To kiss. “Buss my blind cheeks” Kiss my ass.

“Blue skin” A person with a white father and a black mother.

“Bube” Syphilis. Also called “the French disease” by the English, and “the English disease” by the French.

“Cart” A person found guilty of small crimes would often be sentenced to be tied to the back of a cart and forced to run behind it while being beaten by the executioner. This was referred to by thieves and pirates as “having his air and exercise.”

“Casting up accounts” Vomiting.

“Crack” A whore “Crackish” Like a whore.

“Cream pot love” Like a young man courting a dairy maid to sample her cream. When a man pretends to be in love with a woman to get “good things” from her.

“Criminal conversation” The legal term for committing adultery with another man’s wife was to have “criminal conversation” with her.

“Cup-shot” Drunk.

“Dairy” Woman’s breasts. “She sports her dairy” means she’s showing off her breasts.

“Dog’s Rig” Having sex with a woman until you’re tired, then rolling over and turning tail to it.

“Doxie” She-beggar, a wench or a whore.

“Drab” A nasty sluttish whore.

“Die Hard” Going to be hanged with no sign of remorse of contrition. Pirates were strongly urged by their comrades to “die hard” for the honor of piracy.

“Feck,” “Feak” Fuck

“Fire ship” A whore infected with venereal disease.

“Flyer” To take a flyer was to have sex with a woman without taking off her clothes.

“Frenchified” Infected with syphilis. “The mort was frechified” means “the woman was infected with an STD.”

“Frig” To jerk off.

“Growler” An unkempt, dirty vagina.

“Gunner’s Daughter” To Kiss the Gunner’s Daughter is to be tied bent over the barrel of a cannon and beaten on the ass.

“Hempen rope” Hangman’s rope. To die of hemp fever or to dance a hempen dance was to be hanged. A hempen widow was a woman whose husband had been hanged.

“Jakes” Toilet.

“Johnny Ketch” The hangman.

“Kill Devil” Cheap rum, called this because the only reason a person would drink it was to hold off alcoholic hallucinations, or to “kill the devils” that haunted him.

“Lobster” An English soldier, called this because if his red coat.  “I will not make a lobster kettle of my cunt.” Said by a sailor’s whore when refusing to service a soldier.

“Making feet for children’s stockings” Having sex (making babies)

“Moll” A woman. “Miss Molly” A gay, effeminate man.

“Nutmegs” Testicles.

“Playing Back Gammon” Engaging in gay sex.

“Plug tail” Penis

“Pogy” Drunk.

“Roger” To have sex with.

“Quiffing” Having sex.

“Quim” Cunt.

“Rantallion” When a man’s testicles are so relaxed that they hang lower than his penis. Also called “Having his shot-pouch longer than the barrel of his piece.”

“Riding St. George” Called after the image of the dragon swooping upon St. George. Having sex with the woman on top.

“Rum” Good, expensive, pleasing. Rum liquor is good liquor, a rum doxy is a fine looking wench.

“Scuttle” To poke a hole in something. To have sex with a woman.

“Shitting through your teeth” Throwing up.

“Shite” Shit.

“Short heeled lass” A girl likely to fall onto her back.

“Thorough good natured woman” A woman who, when asked to sit down, is happy enough to lie down.

“Three-penny upright” A woman who, for three pennies, will have sex standing against a wall.

“Token” Plague or venereal disease. “She tipped him the token” means she gave him the clap.

“Tuzzy-muzzy” A woman’s private parts.

“Wasp” A prostitute infected with an STD. Like a wasp, she carries a sting in her tail.

“White swelling” Pregnant. A woman carrying a child is said to have a white swelling.

“Whore pipe” Penis.

“Windward passage” A man who is said to use the windward passage when he engages in anal sex.